A brief testimony I gave in Fuller Chapel today. Thought I'd post it here (since I am terrible at being a regular blogger!)
Today’s topic is VISION.
And I think a lot of times it is hard to catch a vision - especially God’s vision. Or perhaps it’s not hard to catch it, it’s hard to keep it for the long haul - over all the ups and downs and obstacles and through the darkness. At least that’s my experience. We’ve come so far in After Hours. A lot of girls have been impacted - but there is still so much darkness and defeat. It’s easy in the harder moments to turn to God and say this is impossible. We're not really doing ANYTHING. I can’t even truly relate to these men and women. When are YOU going to step in and do something? Can't you just end all this pain and darkness? And time and time again He says - do what you can. Care for them. Listen to them. Walk with them and tend to their brokenness. And sometimes I feel like all I can do is laugh at the insignificance of it all.
But I think at times the men and women I get to minister to feel the same way. One courageous, strong, feisty woman I have had the privilege of walking alongside for about seven years now is one of my heroes. She’s overcome SO much. And the fact that she loves God after going through all the trauma and neglect and sadistic abuse she has is mind-boggling to me. And yet, she doesn’t see it! She can’t see past all her pain and medical issues and fall backs and anger and psychological issues to see HOW MUCH she’s grown and how far she’s come. So many people in her life have let her down that she thinks it is her fault and that somehow she’s would be more healed now and farther along if she was better at this life thing - and had her shit together better.
And that’s when the pieces fit together better for me. When I can see her with the eyes of Christ it allows me to give myself a little bit of grace at the same time. She blows me away every day by just being her. By brining her perspectives and artistic eye and smile and laughter and street smarts to the table. By just getting up out of bed every morning and being brave enough to face the darkness. By bringing who she is and what she has to the table, to God, and saying “okay - let’s do this - I trust you”
And that’s all God is asking me to do. Why should I think what I have to offer is any less sufficient of an offering?